• About
  • Archives
  • Categories

    • Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

    « Older Entries

    Base Basics…


    2022 - 09.15

    Posted in Film, Games, Health, House, Photography, Relationships | No Comments »

    Well I may not have got to a blog entry the next day, but it seems I’m managing one today.

    Overall Monday was not a bad day as far as getting some things done that had been holding me back. I got a 6km walk in with my friend Tony and followed that up with coffee and potato wedges, sour cream & sweet chilli sauce. What a treat!

    Tuesday I spent time cleaning up that car & house a bit and catching up on some reading. Sorted out the mortgage for the month with the bank since that had looked a bit dicey on Monday but thanks to the help of a friend and my dad I’ve limped over the month given that I’d not been able to work as much as I would normally.

    Wednesday I went over to dad’s prior to a bit of Menulogging and had coffee, brunch and a good chat. I’m quite happy that my relationship with him has continued to improve over the years and I can tell he’s been making a considerable effort over the last year to be more positive about the things I do or try. Last week I took him out to dinner for my birthday and he really enjoyed himself which heartened me immensely. We’ve been discussing Elizabeth II’s death a bit the last few days and the feelings and thought’s it’s brought up for us both. He’s seen 3 Monarchs over his life so far, whereas I’ve only ever known Elizabeth II, but she’s definitely had the longest and largest influence over both of us. We’re both sure we won’t see her like again in our lifetimes. Charles III will no doubt do well and I think William will follow on well too.

    Forthcoming house related projects will be some woodchipping and mulching over the coming weeks, as well as some more wood collection, since the cold weather’s not finished yet. Once the weather picks up it will be time to strip the varnish and revarnish the doors and windows externally.

    As far as entertainment goes I’ve been focussing on reacquanting myself with some RPG’s and seeking out new ones, some for Solo play, as well as hopefully enlisting a few people into testing a couple of them out. I’m also trying to keep at least one boardgame going solo upstairs now to reduce the amount of Youtube time, additionally working on getting the miniatures for my copy of War of the Ring (1st edition) painted. Down the track once I’ve improved my painting skills I’ll do the 2nd Edition copy.

    I’m also aiming for at least one book a week read to catch up on my flagging reading list I assembled 2 years ago.

    I’m just waiting on a couple of purchases on Amazon and then I’ll be cancelling that subscription until I need some more free shipping. I have little to no use for Amazon Prime outside of the free shipping. Streaming is not really an entertainment option for me these days, it really hasn’t been for years. Those who know me know my attitude towards contemporary entertainment coming out of Hollywood & the large media conglomerates these days. I don’t ever really see me returning to either source for visual entertainment while I’m of sound mind. My friend Julie & I have been watching the Peter Jackson LoTR Trilogy recently because she’s never seen the extended editions. For me it’s also a small protest of no consequence to anyone against Amazon’s “Anus of Power: Bezos’ Folly”. I’m not giving it a single click that they can count as a view from me. There is now NO Intellectual Property that I’ve ever really thought significant in my life that hasn’t been polluted and denigrated by the modern media monsters. I’m over watching the relentless Bushfires that were those IP’s. There is no entertainment for me in their new material now. I have hard media for anything I’ve thought worth watching multiple times, that I’ve collected over the years. My entertainment now resides in board gaming, RPG’s, PC gaming (mostly old), books (mostly old), my Art and my family and friends.

    Focus of Gratitude for the day: Despite the Health Issues I do have, I’m still able bodied and have options than many in this world unfortunately do not.

    Goodbye Old Friend…


    2019 - 07.27

    Posted in Art, Music, Philosophy, Photography, Relationships | No Comments »

    As is so often the case with the significant and profound relationships or events in a life, the conception is difficult to identify with certainty. The instant in time where Steve first entered my life is lost to my memory now because the impact that he had on my life has been so profound and overshadowed whence it began some 40 plus years ago. What I can say on reflection is that my time with Steve contained the most enjoyable and wonderful experiences I have had in my life to this very day.

    I met Steve through music. As I said I don’t remember those initial specifics anymore, but what did matter was that when Steve, Gary and I played together that first time, it was a case of the whole was greater than the sum of the parts. We immediately knew that there was a special connection between us that operated at a level of consciousness that was beyond speech. Our creative processes complimented each other. Over the years of our playing together other band members or guests came and went but the nucleus was always the three of us. No one else we played with offered the same experience of being able to either preempt or immediately respond to a creative choice while playing or composing. The musicians out there will know what I mean when I say it’s a unique find. The ability to collaborate unconsciously, bounce off one another creatively with respect, assuredness and with consistency is an aspiration few bands achieve.

    We played gigs together, split briefly, realized that what we had together was not to be had easily then rejoined. We recorded together, but it was performing live that we really enjoyed the most. In fact we didn’t record it if we couldn’t repeat it live. At that time we had dreams, hopes, a lust for life and friendship that I recall with envy now as the passage of time has eroded my dreams, hopes and life of lust.

    As our twenties hit, life pulled Steve, Gary and myself along different journeys, but Steve would reach out to me every so often over the years and attempt to recapture that musical magic. Unfortunately my journey kept steering me away from people who cared for me and burned my musical bridges. In the 1990’s Gary died and along with him so did a little bit of Steve and myself. At that point we both realised that we’d lost something unique in our lives. Still it was not until the 2000’s that our friendship flourished again. What is amazing is that we could just pick right up again even after some years apart. But that’s true friendship: with solid honest foundations and respect, friendship will survive a drought. Interestingly we had yet another creative cross over, independently we’d both become interested in photography. So kindred spirits are kindred spirits in more ways than one.

    When I think of Steve these are the words that come to mind. Genuine, authentic, loyal, extraordinary, creative, enthusiastic, respectful, kind, loving, paternal, dedicated, perfectionist, passionate, audacious, effervescent and absolutely a man of integrity.

    Dear Steve, I think of thee with kindness, with kindness I think of thee.

    Until later “big buddy”, ever your friend, Craig.

    Delving into Unexplored Spaces…


    2019 - 05.04

    Posted in Art, General, Philosophy, Photography, Relationships | No Comments »

    Lately I’ve been experiencing a renewed motivation in my photography. Much of this is with the encouragement and support of an artist friend for which I’m very grateful. She’s encouraging some collaborative projects and regularly suggesting trips and subject matter that she thinks will inspire me to create more works.

    Much of her work has been either in Sculpture / Assemblage or Charcoal, rather than in photography. So it may seem there’s not much overlap; but the cross pollination and discussions around the ideas and inspirations for the subject matter and interpretation is stoking the fires of my creativity.

    Knowledge is both the Parent & the Child.
    I Will Not Be Swayed.

    Above are two of the works that came out of a project earlier in the week. Human Portraits are not my usual fare, but we were both very happy with what we came away with from the afternoon’s session.

    Monday Morning Gratitude List…


    2017 - 03.20

    Posted in Art, Depression, General, Goals, Health, Relationships | No Comments »

    Many years ago when I was first getting clean it was suggested to me that I might make a “Gratitude List” for times I was feeling somewhat negative about things in general. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night with that thought in my mind again. So I suppose it might be meaningful to do so again.

    • I’m MOST grateful for having friends. I mean REAL friends, not the fictional Social Media “friends”; friends who exist in real life, have physicality. I don’t have a lot of friends, I prefer solid, deep friendships to the casual. My friends provide emotional support, love, entertainment and a solid grounding to life. They’re priceless, they are the real wealth and richness in my life.
    • I’m grateful for my family. Although clearly as dysfunctional as the best of them, they’re still there for me in the hardest of times, and despite my foibles have learned to take me as I am. My parents have managed to provide me with a solid idea about the profoundness of ethics and values, and that people MATTER. They provided me with a good education and taught me the VALUE of education and knowledge.
    • I AM grateful for living in Australia. Despite my many misgivings about where our country is headed as against many other countries I do believe we still have a chance here to not repeat many of the mistakes that I see other countries making.
    • I’m grateful for my good physical health. I believe having good health is so often taken for granted and it’s only when you know people for whom it can’t be taken for granted and see the devastating impact on their lives that it occurs to you how easy it is to lose it.
    • I’m grateful for a solid education that taught me the value of continually learning.
    • I’m grateful that there are so many people still out there who are willing to stand up and advocate for the weak, disenfranchised and maligned within our world and remind us that there is not justice for all, that there is still much to be done to achieve a better world.
    • I’m grateful for the artists in the world showing us wonderful new ways to see the world around us.
    • I’m grateful for my cats. They keep me sane when no-one else can.

    I’m sure there’s more, yet that’s as much as I can see today.

    The Dead Marshes…


    2017 - 03.07

    Posted in Depression, Goals, Health, House, Philosophy, Relationships, Winge, Work | No Comments »

    I can’t say it was a great weekend of activity, although I did help a friend out with something that’s been holding her back from getting a lot of work done. It’s good to know you can help friends and receive the simple joy and satisfaction that comes with that and the recognise the appreciation and thanks.

    Outside of doing that, the rest of the weekend has been spent examining and reorganising my plans for the coming few months. Financially things are just limping along, but it’s not the money so much as the disintegration of the faith in myself and my skill set that’s more concerning now. I know rationally I have a huge range of skills. However at the moment they’re not being used to their full potential. I can see this, but have been feeling at a loss about how to kick start the process again. The vain hope of getting a job again that will use these is solidifying into a figurative concrete wall, grey, uninteresting and unattractive.

    Coupled with that is a major lack of motivation for anything, it’s debilitating. It’s not accompanied by the profound Depression that I was feeling 18 months ago, but somehow this is more insidious. The subtleness of it is what’s most concerning. So today I’m spending time regrouping myself mentally and strategising a fresh path for the next 3 to 6 months.

    A Personal 2016 Summary…


    2016 - 12.31

    Posted in Depression, Dreams, General, Goals, Health, House, Humour, Philosophy, Photography, Relationships, Work | No Comments »

    If I was to sum up the year that’s pretty much now past, I’d have to say it’s not been the best of years for me. That said, it’s certainly not been the worst of years, it would have had to be a total train wreck for me to think that of it. There have been the usual mix of positive and negatives, highs and lows.

    Amongst the highs would be knowing that my friends definitely care about me. All my friends have been very supportive of my situation even though it’s been to a large degree of my choice by leaving work. They have easily recognised the Psychological issues involved and not one of them has devalued me in any manner. It’s been fantastic to feel that support. I’ve clearly chosen my friends wisely. Hopefully they all feel the same.

    Also travelling to NZ for both pleasure and business was absolutely awe-inspiring and definitely life enhancing. Even though in many ways we (Australians thinking about New Zealanders) think we are similar, for the most part I think these days we’re not! Geography is our most common factor. New Zealand as a community seems to be moving forward both economically and socially moving forward, whereas Australia seems only to be running backwards at a great rate. Our Politicians and most of the businesses in this country are hell bent on turning our country into a “Mini US” that seems to believe it’s citizens are an inconvenience at best and disposable at worst.

    I’ve also managing to hold onto the house for at least another year. That’s been another positive milestone for me this year and a very pleasant surprise considering the economic pressure. It seems that originally buying at a price that took into account six to twelve months possible unemployment was a very sensible move.

    As I said before, it’s not been all roses and chocolate. I suppose, although there are times I wonder talking to others, that no regular income this year again has been the most difficult and challenging part of the year for me. There’s no doubt that having no regular income in Australia (yes first world problem) is an unpleasant thing to stay the least. It certainly clarifies the mind with regard to Social Justice in this country: there’s very little! I know in many other countries it could be much worse but then that doesn’t justify it. Again in some other countries it is much better. Australians as a whole need to take a long hard look at what they want their future communities to be like because at this stage the outlook is extremely black.

    However that said, I’m seeing the year out on a high and I believe that 2017 will be a better year for me to reflect on when its 31st of December rolls around.

    To all my friends:

    Thank you for your wonderful care and friendship, I hope I am always able to respond in kind.


    May you all have a Happy New Year.

    Trying to Plan Ahead…


    2016 - 11.16

    Posted in Games, Photography, Relationships | No Comments »

    Confirmed a weekend down in Geelong for a coming weekend prior to Christmas. Some Photography & gaming.

    Stepping Out…


    2016 - 11.12

    Posted in Depression, Games, Health, Relationships | No Comments »

    A slow day. Plans for a burn off to get rid of the collection of branches blown down over the last few months by the wild weather were rescheduled due to too much wind. Additionally rain put a stop to mowing. So in the end I spend the afternoon going through boxes of old computing peripherals and cables trying to downsize. I also watched some interesting board game reviews and also some how to plays. I’m going to push myself to get out and try and do regular gaming once a week down at the local game store. Most of my gaming friends have moved or had children and no longer have the time for the sort of games I like to play. No surprise, there’s a lot of work and time involved in young children.

    That said, I see an opportunity to develop another strategy to keep Depression at bay. I know that getting out can be a huge problem for me when Depression is growing, and I’m hoping that another social avenue may be helpful there, especially with something I enjoy so much. More on this strategy later.

    Holiday Hollowness…


    2016 - 11.11

    Posted in General, Philosophy, Relationships, Work | No Comments »

    It’s amazing how Public Holidays become meaningless to you when you’re currently not working. I hadn’t even realised it was a local public holiday. To be honest it’s one of those that doesn’t really seem to have much meaning to me, nor I’m sure many others, other than an excuse for a day off. Such a pity, as nowadays they’re excellent opportunities to build community spirit. I see much value in the old days of Festivals or Feast Days.

    Familial Alerts…


    2016 - 11.09

    Posted in Depression, General, Health, Philosophy, Relationships | No Comments »

    My negative waves must be transmitting, since I had a call from my sister today. She does seem to have a “Craig Alarm” that goes off when I’m in a really shabby place. Anyway it was good to have a short rant session. It definitely eased the angst of the day for me. I suppose it was needed.

    My only other real thrill for the day was seeing the US have actually elected Donald Trump and that his part actually has a majority in both Houses. That’s Hilarious.

    « Older Entries