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Category Archives: Dreams

03
February

Raindrops keep fallin’…

Written by m0rg0th. No comments Posted in: Dreams, General, Health

Lately I’ve been pondering the origins of my love for the rain. Just when I started to be come enamoured of listening, being caught in, going out in, and generally just experiencing rain is something I’m unable to put my finger on, although some of my earliest memories are of enjoying rain. Memories such as […]

14
July

Two Years On…

Written by m0rg0th. No comments Posted in: Dreams, Furbag, General, Health, House, Philosophy, Work

So here I am two years down the track after leaving my former full-time employer. It’s been a rough journey and it’s still not over. I suppose the positive of it is that I’m still here. I use “suppose” because there’s been times that I’ve been pretty unsure about that. I’ve definitely felt like there’s […]

27
February

The Maelstrom…

Written by m0rg0th. No comments Posted in: Depression, Dreams, Philosophy, Winge, Work

It seems I’m in a holding pattern, slowly spiralling inwards but not really reaching a destination, i.e. a goal. Financially I’ve slowed the sinking, but the lifeboat is still leaking slowly, with the threat of a major leak constantly a threat. Purposiveness is disintegrating slowly too which is as concerning if not more. I’m steeling […]

If I was to sum up the year that’s pretty much now past, I’d have to say it’s not been the best of years for me. That said, it’s certainly not been the worst of years, it would have had to be a total train wreck for me to think that of it. There have […]

23
November

Between Worlds…

Written by m0rg0th. No comments Posted in: Depression, Dreams, Health

Lost in time & space day, basically embraced Morpheus.

Managed a walk for couple of hours outside as brisk as it was; an apparent temperature of 2°. I did manage some meditation and tried brainstorming some stuff to sell. It’s 17:00 and I’m heading to bed. Just can’t be bothered with anything more today.

It seems that more & more the only aspects of Commonality between all the members of Australian Communities come down to living in the same place and a shared fear of unemployment. It’s hard to feel part of a community with which my values are so disparate. A Community which values people so little, and […]

14
October

Slowly Sliding…

Written by m0rg0th. No comments Posted in: Depression, Dreams, Health, Work

There’s really nothing to highlight today, I’m feeling the Depression closing in as the “unknown number” calls keep increasing and there’s only one potential job on the horizon. As I said, I felt the interview went well so I can only wait until next week to find out how it will pan out.

It’s been a fairly disheartening day. I watched my tax return of a bit over two thousand evaporate into paying bills that have been building up. It took less than five minutes to vanish and produce nothing except reaching ground zero from underneath. It seems the only advance we’ve made from the Eighteenth Century is […]

12
October

As best as I can tell the interview went well, but I’ve learned that I’m clearly not the best judge of such things these days, as you really can’t tell what’s going on behind the scenes. Often we are applying for jobs that are already decided for some internal candidate, and the business is just […]

05
October

The last Twenty Four hours have indicated to me that the predominant factor influencing the increase of Depression I’ve been feeling over the last month is clearly related to my sense of impending financial meltdown. I’ve noticed a positive sense of self increasing since having the call about the Assessment Session tomorrow. I’m hoping therefore […]

03
June

Well here it is, next to the last day in NZ. I’ve been a little moody today, most likely due to the fact I’ve got mixed feelings about leaving, but miss the Furbags and would like a night in a comfortable bed. My Van isn’t the most comfortable, but it’s been all I have for […]

*Note that this post was meant to have been posted on the 11th May. Well here it begins, my first international shoot. At 05:20 I have embarked on my first Photography Shoot overseas. Admittedly it’s New Zealand so not as exotic as some destinations, but it’s a huge start for me. I have to say […]

I was watching a TED Talk late one recent evening, and stumbled across one that truly struck home in what may be yet another of my life’s epiphanies. I wonder how many you can be lucky enough to experience? Either way epiphany this idea may very well be for me. It’s the idea of “multiple […]

Well I’ve been very quiet online lately, but don’t take that for sitting in a bottomless pit of Depression. Take it more as a sign I’m busy. I’ve been working hard on consolidation regular work back into my lifestyle, as it’s easy to fall out of the habit when you’ve been off work for a […]

Well as the year closes, it’s clear that although I’ve made fantastic progress with rising above my Depression, there’s still work to be done. Work has been difficult to get back into consistently with a combination of physical and psychological hurdles to overcome. Hopefully the New Year gives me a fresh start there. The damage […]

Well as it gets further & further away in time from being at my old workplace, I realise how lucky I was to make the choice to leave when I did. I’m also very lucky in that I have friends willing to help me get through the few months between leaving and getting well enough […]

Well I can see it’s been several weeks since the last update. That’s not indicative of a Depressive Relapse, it just means I’ve been very busy lately. It seems that the days are just flying by now with not enough time in the day to get done all I want to get done. It is […]

27
December

A Resolution of Sorts…

Written by m0rg0th. No comments Posted in: Dreams, Goals, Health, Work

Well into the last gasp of 2014 now, and within a few days it will be 2015! I’m looking forward to this year in a lot of ways. This will be the year I am positioning myself to break out of my Depressive Cycle. I have a plan to deal with the occupational aspects contributing […]

06
December

A New Hope…

Written by m0rg0th. No comments Posted in: Dreams, General, Goals, Health, Photography, Tech

Well the last few weeks have been hard! Depression has been eating away at me again. At least this time I’ve managed to use my recovery process for it to spur me on to do some things I’ve been wanting to do! I’ve put in quite a bit of effort at trying to generate an […]

Things seem to be coming along well in my journey through the Straits of Depression. I’ve managed to keep my head above water for almost a month now, without a profound bout of Depression. That’s not to say the Depression isn’t lurking at every corner, but at the moment I feel a sense of being […]

Well the year rolls over, and the birthday shag tradition is intact just… The Cosmos certainly toted with me though: I had no power from 0:45 Sunday morning until 18:30 Sunday evening. I’d rescheduled twice in anticipation of the worst! But fortunately all was sorted with time to spare. Considering my guest / present was […]

I don’t know why I would begin to think to the contrary, but the Runes were spot on yet again. Doors have closed, some things are lost, perhaps others were never really there. Intentionally or not there’s just nothing left to connect on. Either way suddenly I realise that there’s just no place for me […]

10
August

Beyond Poe…

Written by m0rg0th. No comments Posted in: Dreams, Film, General, Humour

Went to see Inception tonight with an old friend whom I’ve not seen since the start of the year. Odd experience I must say on both accounts. This is one of those movies I feel the need to see again to get my head completely around and I feel as much confused as I enjoyed […]

29
July

Runes and a Tarot reading by a friend resonate with my guts, tough choices ahead, moving on from certain things and August is around the corner. Dreams scarier than normal. I’m hoping that with the roller coaster year I’ve had, August will be less difficult that it often is for me. Starting the month with […]