I don’t know why I would begin to think to the contrary, but the Runes were spot on yet again. Doors have closed, some things are lost, perhaps others were never really there. Intentionally or not there’s just nothing left to connect on. Either way suddenly I realise that there’s just no place for me in some realities…
Archive for the ‘Runes’ Category
Early Spring cleaning…
2010 -
07.29
Runes and a Tarot reading by a friend resonate with my guts, tough choices ahead, moving on from certain things and August is around the corner. Dreams scarier than normal.
I’m hoping that with the roller coaster year I’ve had, August will be less difficult that it often is for me. Starting the month with some visits from friends: some will earn their breakfast the hard way and some the easy way! 🙂
Journey to the centre of…
2010 -
06.17
If someone finds my brain on the ground, can they please put it back in my skull, because I think I’ve misplaced it and filled the cavity with cotton wool instead.
Runes say patience, but great upheaval and a change that cannot be undone have already been set in motion.
Today I just don’t know. I don’t know anything really. And normally I’d say wise is the man who knows he knows almost nothing. Today it’s just, well I don’t know. But then surely to know all would be to go mad…or would it?
To be Open is to Close…
2010 -
05.21
I’ve spent the best parts of both my teenage and adult life avoiding being close to people and letting them into who I am. I’ve used sex as an avoidance mechanism and it’s worked so successfully, that when it came down to it, Sammy and I couldn’t allow ourselves (either of us) to loosen the inner vault door that final few inches to let another cross in as completely as possible for two people. It’s a bit more complicated than that, and there was baggage on both sides. In the end we both had agreed we just couldn’t go there. Lost opportunities *sigh* sometimes they’re hard to swallow when the opportunity is permanently lost…
The perversity of the Cosmos is that when I actually wish to do this with another, and start to try doing so it negates the opportunity of apparent unattached sex and anything else, and there’s no escape from the feelings! I thought I’d be doing a better job and starting from a better point in the first place, by opening up, but somehow it’s gone elsewhere, no doubt in the Cosmos’ direction for me. It’s not necessarily the opposite of what I would hope, but it’s not how I would have preferred it to go. Not that I really know I guess. I ponder, but meaning is missing for me at the moment. I guess more will become apparent, but there definitely seems to be something crazy with how this show is written so far, I’m sure I didn’t write this script. But then again I always was wanting instant gratification, and there’s no doubt this time I didn’t, so I guess I got that right.
There is humour in this in a black way I guess…
Slipping my toes in the Maelstrom…
2010 -
05.04
My Runes are telling my it’s going to be tough going with the Cosmos in the medium term, that I need to change and that much that was, needs to be left behind. There is no satisfactory refuge that isn’t a failure to face reality. I feel like I’m in Milkwood. I think I need a very very long holiday…
White Knuckle Day…
2010 -
04.25
Obviously I don’t have all the holes plugged up yet, the Committee’s running rampant and I am just not yet able to hand it over to the Cosmos. I’ve been here before, you’d think it would have become easy by now. As Caligula states in the movie of the same name, “you can’t have both for the same price!”
I know I’ll get through it, work through it, but I’m knots and fire today. I need a distraction for the day. For those of you who come into contact with me, forgive me for being a bit “ratty” today.
Millstones…
2010 -
04.22
A tough week at work exacerbated by family factors at other times! Furbag has been equally tough on me this week for no apparent reason. However work’s done for the week, off until Tuesday. Looking forward to something different.
My Runes have been hopeful this week, but none boding fruition in the short term. I’m still bouncing like a bearing in a pinball machine!
Day of the Furbag…
2009 -
12.25
I generally find today and the following few frustrating for the hypocrisy. When it takes a commercialized “holiday” to “bring families together” it seems we as a society are generally lacking. However, I’m hosting the members today, so I’m treating today as the tribal gathering to lay offerings to the ancient hunting deity Furbag. Apparently however, my usual household “decorations” are unfitting, and must be discretely placed out of sight… *sigh*
Anyway such is the way of some things. The Runes indicate that the Favour of Furbag should be high at the moment and the weather appears mild.
