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    Workstation Black & Blue…

    2017 - 05.18

    It’s come to my attention in the last few days just how much my study has been turned upside down over the last few months with various “spring cleans”. The very important workstation configuration is critical to getting work done in the quickest and most comfortable way. Clearly I’d forgotten just how well configured my workstation has been: until I realised it had been changed and that’s why all of a sudden I was feeling all this back ache and sense of stress.

    So several hours was spent overnight getting it all set back up into the correct configuration again! Desk has been lowered to it’s correct position again, and while I was at it I pulled the switch apart on the electric adjustment and fixed that so that it wasn’t hanging loose anymore. Getting the chair right again has also made a significant difference. It’s not hard to tell when you’ve got it right, no back pain after an hour!

    Set Course for “that away”…

    2017 - 05.03

    It’s been a while since my last post however I’ve not been doing nothing. I’ve been off the Anti-Depressant’s a month now completely. I’m shocked at the positives that have come from that so quickly.

    Now before I go any further don’t think for a minute that I believe that taking the course of AD’s for three years was a bad choice. Clearly it wasn’t: it enabled me to leave the toxic place of work that was driving me to the brink, enabled me to make some other decisions that have since clearly moved me into a more responsible attitude towards the further directions my life will take.

    That said, I could probably have come off them 12 months after I went on them after having left the toxic workplace. Working there was clearly the most damaging thing I was doing to myself from a health perspective. Needless to say it’s done now, things are moving forward more quickly than I anticipated. All of this is good. I’ve not had a single depressive bout for the thirty odd days since coming off them.

    I’d come to consider that rather than assisting me now, the AD’s were actually hindering me from moving back into the world I needed connect with again. It seemed to me that the only way to know that for sure was to come off them again and see what awaited me on the outside. I had discussed this with my GP six months back and was ready to wean off them when I decided that due to an impending job prospect I’d wait in case the levels of demand on me were such that I still needed to be stabilised. However that situation passed, the job didn’t eventuate and with another prescription renewal dawning I decided now was the time. There were no significant pressures outside the normal and I was dealing well with them. However my life was feeling like I was now treading water in the Sargasso Sea. I was uninspired, feeling creatively hindered and generally weighed down. It felt like it a draft print looks from a laser printer. There but barely.

    Against and I must stress the against my GP’s suggestion I decided to come off cold turkey. We’d originally planned a tiered approach until I was no longer taking them: pretty much a two or three month timetable. But given that I now had what I considered the perfect time to do it quickly and without any significant life pressures looming I decided to jump off the figurative bridge.

    I didn’t do this blindly or unprepared however. I renewed the prescription keeping it easily to hand in case it was needed. I’m an old hand at coming off mood & mind altering substances via the cold turkey method and confirming no physical risks from doing so with this medication in particular, I decided to commit to the path. I had backup plans in place, friends who were aware of what I was doing and why. They would be ready to assist if necessary.

    Once again I strongly urge against this method without certain things in place. This is definitely a case of only if you’re fully aware of what might be going to happen and do your best to plan for it: certainly do not do it without people helping you. As I said even though I’ve had previous personal experience coming off a lot of illicit drugs, cold turkey is not without it’s risks. I cannot emphasise enough that it’s NOT something to go into without your eyes open and other people to be there for you if it all goes to hell. There are risks of physical reactions and extreme psychological reactions including potentially suicide.

    A month later, my head is clear, my body feels grounded, I’m awaking from sleep far more refreshed and I’ve been impressed with the amount of motivation I’ve had available to channel into various tasks I’ve needed to get done for a while. I think it’s been the appropriate choice at this point.

    I’m now looking forward to the new chapters in my life.


    2016 - 11.13

    I honestly have done nothing but research on the internet, chat and watched a few youtube videos today. I won’t feel guilty about it either.

    Mentally Afloat…

    2016 - 10.30

    Interesting Weekend’s research into some of the finer points of photography, and some board gaming.

    Movie Night…

    2016 - 10.28

    I’ve devoted today to writing, online store maintenance and gaming.

    Movie Night tonight with Jamie. We’re having a “B Grade” horror night watching “Harbinger Down” followed by “B Grade” Science Fiction effort “Ice Pirates”.

    Research Day 2…

    2016 - 10.25

    More youtube, I’m enjoying a bunch of Boardgames reviews & gameplay videos.

    Research Day…

    2016 - 10.24

    Today was mostly Photography research and some writing. Supplemented with much “youtube”.

    Small Steps (Forward?)…

    2016 - 10.21

    I woke up around 04:00 and it seems Chemoux has been keeping guard of me overnight so at least I’ve been in good paws. Heading out to a friend’s house tonight, fixing up his PC and board gaming tomorrow before heading home. Hoping this will improve my mood.

    On the positive side of life though I have managed to start getting down those short stories I indicated I was going to give a shot. Still on the first one, but at least I’m moving on them.

    Watch that Step…

    2016 - 09.30

    Well yes I did miss yesterday, but mainly because the post was still draft. So the following is what was going to be yesterday’s post.

    Work on the first short piece of writing has started, with a basic plan of the parameters of the story. This one will have a Cthulhu Mythos flavour to it. This seemed like a good choice to hold interest for the first one for me and give’s me motivation. I’m hoping it will promote an enthusiasm to put the effort into a Cthulhu RPG campaign.

    Now for Today’s update.

    I’ve attempted a different tactic on the sleeping cycle this time: rather than just trying to crunch it back in like I used to be able to do 10 years ago working shift work which hasn’t been working much for me this time around, I’m trying a technique suggested to my by my friend Kate. Information that she’s researched indicates that a better method is moving the time back piece by piece (so to speak). So Thursday I was awake from 23:00 (Wed night) through to about 20:00, awaking at about 03:00 this morning. This should encourage a getting back to a more regular sleep cycle for me going to bed about 22:30 and arising at 06:30. That’s the premise anyway.

    I’m also planning several trips down the Geelong way to photograph wildlife so as to enter some shots in the coming competition for the Geelong by Nature. I’ve decided it’s time to get more serious about the competitions. I’m also keeping my eye out for others that may not necessarily be wild life related.

    Dust off the Bucket List…

    2016 - 09.28

    While I’ve still got energy to move (emotionally and physically) I’ve decided to cross another goal off my list of artistic endeavours I’ve always wanted to do. I’m going to write some short stories and publish them. Self publishing is a real option these days, and I guess while I can still afford internet I’d best give it a shot. I’ve set myself a goal of trying to have four done by the end of October. Once they’re done we’ll move onto the next step of publishing.

    Also I’ve set a commitment of getting at least one post a week on my two Photography sites, that is both the store & the blog. As far as the Store’s concerned I’ve set myself the goal of 6 new photos a week for the next five weeks. As for the blog, at least one update a week discussing some technical issue.