Yes it’s been a couple of years since I have updated this blog, I’ve been trying to get started again several times over the last 12 months but just haven’t been able to make it happen. Emotionally last year wasn’t a particularly bad year for me, probably upon reflection a better one than this year. Chemoux died around March this year, probably snakebite, putting me back to a single cat household again. Tiggakat has definitely stepped up the interactions since but I still miss my “shadow” and Supervisor.
The last couple of months have seen me drop down mood wise quite a bit, still being connected to Centrelink really is a pair of psychological concrete boots now. This new system is even worse than the previous and I didn’t really think that was possible. It seems that the cost of having that small amount of financial assistance to fall back on is now no longer worth the psychological and emotional weight it brings with it. I’m just hanging on until car registration is due and I can pay it, then I think I’ll just have to drop off for my mental health. If I can manage to get through 25 hours per week with either Menulog or Uber then truly my need to have anything to do with Centrelink will evaporate and I feel sure there will be a substantial positive impact with regard to my Depressive Bouts.
In some ways this year has been much better for me financially with the addition of extra income provided by Menulog. However it’s definitely reminded me about how quickly my mental health is influenced by the number of hours I work. It seems that the reality for me after my last full time position is that I deteriorate rapidly once hitting about 25 hours in a week. Sure, I can make it to up to 40 hours in a single week, but to repeat that for more than a couple of weeks will bring me unstuck withing the month. What is postive is that I know that something like Menulog or Uber can work for me as far as bringing in regular income in a way that nothing else in the last 7 years has been able to do. The flexibility of this type of work allows me to actually get income coming in on a regular basis without exacerbating bouts of Depression, provided I don’t get myself in a position where I feel compelled to overdo it. This has helped me get through financially without sinking too far down over the winter which has been the most difficult time over the last half decade.
I hope to get a regular blogging habit back over the next month, aiming for at least one entry a week over the next month. I’m hoping to get a list of several things that need to be reinstated as good habits done over the next day or so, including my walking, since much has fallen off over the last couple of months.
There are also a couple of tasks that need to be taken care of such as submitting my tax for the last financial year and getting organised around a new exhibition for next year. I’ve let my Art suffer this year in pursuit of income but without really achieving the baseline to allow the time for my Photography.
Focus of Gratitude for the Day: I am very fortunate that I still have people in my life who do care about me and wish me well.