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    A Taste of Eden…


    2016 - 06.03

    Posted in Depression, Dreams, Furbag, General, Goals, Health, Photography | No Comments »

    Well here it is, next to the last day in NZ. I’ve been a little moody today, most likely due to the fact I’ve got mixed feelings about leaving, but miss the Furbags and would like a night in a comfortable bed. My Van isn’t the most comfortable, but it’s been all I have for the month. I’ve really enjoyed the month’s focus on shooting, walking and enjoying beautiful scenery and meeting wonderful people.

    I feel my shooting has improved remarkably with the full-time application of myself to it, day in and day out. It’s been easy without the familiar distractions that to often entrap me while home. This escape for a month was exactly what I needed to step out of my Depression. I will be moving off the medication regime very soon after my return.

    I have to say I’m in love with NZ South Island. In fact there’s really no where except one small area that I wouldn’t live quite happily. The people are friendly and still have a very strong sense of community. It’s something that Australians are losing very very quickly. Australians seem to becoming very arrogant over the last decade, and I think this is only noticed when you spend time away from them. We (Australians) have much to learn about dealing with the rest of the world I think.

    Anyway I’m considering very strongly how to move over here. Time frame maybe two years. We shall see. But it’s renewed my inspiration, and my interest in life. Hopefully I can bring such re-invigorated zest back home with me and apply it to life back home.

    From “A” to “X” marks the spot…


    2016 - 05.24

    Posted in Depression, Dreams, General, Photography, Work | No Comments »

    *Note that this post was meant to have been posted on the 11th May.

    Well here it begins, my first international shoot. At 05:20 I have embarked on my first Photography Shoot overseas. Admittedly it’s New Zealand so not as exotic as some destinations, but it’s a huge start for me.

    I have to say that I’m exhausted already just getting onto the flight. It seems so much more stressful than domestic flying. Anyway I will be sleeping well tonight (I hope); the flight was a little late taking off so I hope I’m still able to pick up my Jucy Van this afternoon.

    I didn’t think I was feeling that excited earlier, admittedly I’m feeling tired, but I confess to now beginning to feel a level of excitement increasing at an increasing pace. At the moment I think it’s mostly about just being completely alone, and able to ignore the banal mainstream struggler that is work, pay bills, try to build my business, work, pay bills etcetera. I know I’m going to miss my Furbags, hopefully they don’t miss me too much: I could not have left them in better hands. I only hope Pat survives the process and they don’t run him ragged playing tricks on him and creating problems for Bob & Jan.

    Although this is a trip for Shards of Arcadia, I am hoping to enjoy myself at the same time. I’ve never had a break like this where I haven’t had to worry about work, not working, just enjoying something I’m passionate about with no immediate time constraints and schedule. I have an itinerary but it’s quite fluid and there are sufficiently activities that are optional if time permits. There’s no real hurry. I unsure how long if ever I’ll get this opportunity again in the short to medium term.

    Breaking New Ground…


    2016 - 03.09

    Posted in Depression, Dreams, General, Goals, Health, House, Photography, Tech, Work | No Comments »

    Well I’ve been very quiet online lately, but don’t take that for sitting in a bottomless pit of Depression. Take it more as a sign I’m busy.

    I’ve been working hard on consolidation regular work back into my lifestyle, as it’s easy to fall out of the habit when you’ve been off work for a length of time. It doesn’t matter whether that’s due to holidays, long service leave, long illness or unemployment. Being away from that routine for those of us who fundamentally find it an imposition on what we’d rather be doing with our lives, is dangerous. It’s easy to become focussed on different “realities” and practise our days in ways that don’t easily fit that 9 to five routine.

    There’s been a couple of “flat times” but been working out strategies for those days when they happen. I’ve also decided to really push the positivity train from now on, so it’s likely you will receive emails on occasion from me just because I think something is Cheering, Enlightening or just plain wonderful and can lend some positivity to the day of others as well. If you find these emails not to your taste just let me know and I’ll make sure you don’t keep getting them.

    I’ve set up a dedicated Studio at home on a trial basis, moving my bedroom to the spare room. Visitors unfortunately will be relegated to the couch at this point in time (unless you are partial to sharing). The hope is that this will prompt more technical work with the camera and associated gear than sitting in front of the computer using software. It’s time to focus on some technique again, as well as becoming fluent with the equipment I don’t use on every occassion, but will be used more so from this point on. If I find that it’s not achieving positive results after six months, I’m most likely changing back.

    The car is getting a service and I’ve put “hybrid” tyres on it to facilitate more confidence when going into the bush further now than I used to do. There were several times last year when I made the choice to not proceed some places believing the tyres I had unsuitable. Now that shouldn’t be an issue unless I fancy driving in swamps up Cape York with the Crocodiles!

    Sailing Rough Seas with Confidence again…


    2016 - 01.21

    Posted in Depression, Goals, Health, Photography | No Comments »

    I feel at this stage that I’ve made a definite shift that seems to be solidifying into a higher level of satisfaction with life again. The effects of my Depression are diminishing slowly but surely. Even to the point where I’m seriously contemplating a program of coming off the Anti-Depressants. I’ll be discussing this with my GP next visit. It’s been two years now, but only in the last month have I felt that the ground has been made to look at this as the point to consider a regime of reduction and eventual cessation. I’m starting to dream again on a nightly basis, and this is encouraging as I’ve generally not been able to remember many dreams from the last couple of years. It’s quite usual for me to remember several of the night’s dreams after waking, at least for the day. It’s not unusual to remember one or two a week more permanently.

    Recovery to normal balance now seems an achievable goal now.

    I’m making good ground with the “paid” work, and the Photography is proving both enjoyable, and meaningful again. The business side of it is slowly taking shape. A few small sales is encouraging, and provides the small positives to keep moving forward with this endeavour.

    Sharing Good News…


    2016 - 01.17

    Posted in Depression, Furbag, General, Goals, Health, Photography, Work | No Comments »

    Sometimes it’s good for you to hear from somebody else that “Life is Good!”

    So, Life is Very Good at the moment for me. I’d say I’m feeling the best I’ve felt in three years. I’m enjoying work, enjoying my photography, enjoying my life in general. I’m planning for the future. I’m grateful for Friends and Family and really feel that life is worth living lately The Furbags are well and being fairly easy on me at the moment. My Depression is not affecting my quality of life at all over the last few weeks. There’s just nothing to complain about, and that’s fantastic.

    With my best wishes for all. 🙂

    Goodbye Major Tom…


    2016 - 01.11

    Posted in Art, Film, Music, Photography, Theatre | No Comments »

    The Entertainment Industry has lost a extremely talented person today with the death of David Bowie. I wish his essence the best of journeys.

    Creating New Directions by taking Action…


    2015 - 12.28

    Posted in Depression, Dreams, Goals, Health, Photography, Tech, Work | No Comments »

    Well as the year closes, it’s clear that although I’ve made fantastic progress with rising above my Depression, there’s still work to be done. Work has been difficult to get back into consistently with a combination of physical and psychological hurdles to overcome. Hopefully the New Year gives me a fresh start there. The damage done by my previous work situation is still not completely recovered from and there’s still some residual difficulties. However I’m placing a few new goals, and working towards them.

    As part of moving forward, from both a Psychological & Emotional point of view I’ve also begun planning a photographic working holiday for later in the year which has provided a much needed boost to my overall emotional state. I’m going to visit the South Island of New Zealand for several weeks, and spend that time travelling in a hired van living out of it and photographing in a number places around the Southern Island. I decided that hiring a van and doing it in my own time with an allowance of 3 weeks is plenty of time to see all I want to see in the South Island. I’ve asked someone to accompany me, but I’m still waiting on an answer there, so at this stage it will be by myself as originally planned unless my offer is accepted.

    All the advice I’ve received over the last few years suggests that trying to do both islands at the same time in anything under a month or so is a waste because you can’t spend the time you want to anyway for more than a short time. My thoughts are that with a generous amount of time, I can choose to stop where & when I like and enjoy the island to the maximum while giving myself plenty of time to get the sort of shots I want to bring home. Hopefully some of those shots will also generate some further income for the business.

    A Balmy Evening Brings Thoughts of …


    2015 - 11.25

    Posted in Depression, Photography, Work | No Comments »

    The warmer weather appears to be taking hold, and that means more chances for some outdoor trips before it gets too damn hot to be walking kilometres. Although that said, find the right forest, and a good day without a high chance of fire, and it can be very pleasant under a green canopy with the lens seeking all chances out. A change of work roster means that there’s a good chance of heading off on a Thursday and getting a good couple of days shooting away. As I indicated on my Photography Blog there are several trips in the planning stage, some of which could really benefit from the possibility of a day earlier start. Hopefully I can squeeze at least one in before Christmas Holidays.

    Without the wind being so gusty such evenings as this offer opportunities for some wonderful low light portraits and other shots. There’s something about warm nights & coloured lights that go so well, and the clear nights are wonderful for Night Sky shots.

    Retrospective and Looking Forward…


    2015 - 11.14

    Posted in Depression, Dreams, General, Goals, Photography, Work | No Comments »

    Well as it gets further & further away in time from being at my old workplace, I realise how lucky I was to make the choice to leave when I did. I’m also very lucky in that I have friends willing to help me get through the few months between leaving and getting well enough to go back to work. In speaking to someone from my old workplace today, they remarked “how chipper” I sounded, to which of course I had to answer the truth, “…well I wasn’t working at that place anymore”! Simple but true. Leaving was the final significant action I had to make to break the cycle and step out and regain my life. Now I’ve a new job, new vision, new life, and new found zest for life. I have dreams, and the capacity to work towards achieving them.

    This morning I managed one step closer, after selling my first print from my new Online Store. Certainly I’m not retiring on the proceeds, but it’s a step towards opening that door. So while I was getting the print done for sale, I was also getting a couple of others done that I’d wanted for myself. I’m very happy with the results for all of them.

    Outside of that, nothing much further to report.

    Man the Store Front…


    2015 - 11.07

    Posted in Depression, General, Humour, Photography, Relationships | No Comments »

    Well finally got the new Photography Online Shop “Live” this morning after a few day of testing, mostly by others on my behalf. That’s the beauty of having a network of friends who will provide feedback when you ask for it. Most often it’s helpful and constructive. Anyway most of the suggestions were very helpful and quite a few of them were put into effect.

    I’m happy with how the site’s come up in the end, and it gave me a project this week. I was experiencing a mild bout of Depression over this week. This allowed me to have a focal point with something important and enjoyable to me. Over the next few weeks I’m going to have to get some serious shooting in to add even more content. I also have to update the stock sites with some more stock art too.

    I’ve been very surprised and pleased with the support from friends in helping with the testing. I think that’s enabled a much better opening site and I’m very grateful. It’s good to be able to access such things, now that I’m not experience severe and extended periods of Depression.

    I’ve been officially employed again for almost a month and although I’ve had only one pay so far, I’m pleased to be back at work (part-time) four days a week. Much better than five, and I can really get to like this working week.

    Life is pretty good currently.

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