Finally! I may be on track again. Depression seems to be lifting, which is strange for me with the Silly Season just around the corner. At least I’m feeling much better than I’ve felt in weeks. Work’s going to happen today. Mind you, I will be leaving about 13:30 today, ‘cos I’m desperate enough to get there to get in an hour early, but not desperate enough to go putting in extra hours just yet.
Archive for the ‘Work’ Category
The Sinking Ship or the Lifeboat…
2014 -
11.24
I’ve decided to take the chance and start trying to market some of my Photography. Clearly I’m not in a position to leave my day job, and I doubt I will be for some time to come.
Yet it feels to me that now might be the right time to make that plunge into the alternative economic options for my future. I have to say that my current job is driving me crazy. Feeling shackled by the Golden Handcuffs is clearly not helpful for my depression. If I don’t give it a go, I won’t know, as they say! If I can put as much energy and work into it as I did twenty years ago for computing I may just be able to make an accpetable (to me) living from photography or a combination of that and some other options.
Thud and Pick Myself Up…
2014 -
11.18
Well a bit of a crash with the depression, but picking myself up again. Much quicker these days, and I’ve had time to get into perspective the precipitating events and interactions. Work is a significant trigger of these cycles. I’m just going to have to keep coming up with strategies to get me through while I work on the alternatives in the background.
Climbing Into the Lifeboat Again…
2014 -
11.13
Well seems I’m not out of the woods with the depressive patches. I have been having a very down period this week; partially bought on by painting and varnishing in an enclosed area with what I thought was as much ventilation as I could manage. Clearly it wasn’t enough! Headaches & Nausea for about 36 hours afterwards.
That in itself wasn’t the depressive trigger, but it did have me feeling sick and uncomfortable enough to let some things at work take root and bring me unstuck for a few days. Why do some people insist on trying to mess with others trying to do their best at work? Why do others seem to think that theirs is the only way to work, and that others are just procrastinating or not work?
People have different working styles: that’s a fact. It doesn’t mean they’re any less effective, or efficient than anyone else, nor any more I suppose. However if it’s effective for them and gets results that should be what’s important provided it’s all in keeping with being respectful and helpful with regard to others in the workplace.
Anyway it’s been eating at me for three days now, and I’ve had enough. I’ve pulled out the initial exercises from my early psychological sessions, and rereading a couple of texts I found useful early on too. Fortunately I’ve had a GP appointment already in place for today, and I’ve tried to get a last appointment with my Psychologist for the last couple of years before she retires (lucky person)! Wouldn’t mind being in that position myself. So to begin moving forward I’ve got Barb coming to stay for a couple of days for some company and she’ll be visiting others too, so still have some time to myself to work on things. I’ll be back to work tomorrow, and starting afresh next week.
Week 43…
2014 -
10.25
Well another weekend has come around, and yet another week of work has passed. A busy week but it hasn’t exactly dragged, so things are certainly feeling better overall. I think I shall slip off to the wetlands about 500 metres away just before sunrise and see what little feathered critters I can photograph early this morning. I did go over for a scope on Wednesday night, just to get a feel for the light in the evening, and I think the morning should be interesting too. Tiggakat is out and about after a night on the doona, things must have cooled down a bit for her overnight. I got the head massage about 4:00 this morning, but for once I think I’d slept solidly right through the night without waking, so it didn’t feel quite so harsh. It’s been a big week.
Las Plagas…
2014 -
10.20
Last week turned out to be a very busy week, but still in the end not too bad. Ended up working from home Friday and today just to make sure I could make a significant dent in cleaning up my current project at work, as well as some research into some other problems in the environment. I’d say well worth it to reduce the interruptions I usually get while at work. However can’t last forever; tomorrow I will have to return to the my little Battery Hen cage and continue to put out the spot fires while Rome burns!
I have bitten the bullet and decided that I will start running an Antivirus on my OS X machines, the internet just seems to be getting more and more dangerous thanks to unscrupulous programmers. I know that best practice while using a mac gives you next to no chance of catching a virus, but just because that’s the case now, it will be too late if I get the first major one that makes the grade! Additionally I still have to interact with a lot of windows users, and we do know there’s no doubt the Windows World is ridden with filth everywhere! I did the research about six months ago, but after narrowing the list to about three contenders still wasn’t convinced that the need was there to justify adding something to the operating system which by it’s very nature has to impact on performance. I think the risks are now increasing to the point I’m no longer willing to depend on the fact that my preferred OS and hardware solution is only about 10% of the share of what’s available. Clearly key loggers and email trojans are there to pickup up the big & the small, and although I don’t make their job easy as it is, I would like to make it even harder now. No doubt there will be more updates to follow.
I’m currently running the Sophos OS X free version on one of the machines, and I’ve dug into the wallet for a 3 licence version of ESET Cyber Security for OS X. I’ve dug into the wallet for the extra flexibility offered by the paid ESET. Additionally it offers a flexible licencing option, and has tested up in the top 5 for detection over the last several years.
Shards of the Futures Seen…
2014 -
10.12
Well it’s been a pretty good week so far. Work’s been OK, things seem to be settling back down there now.
Saturday was a day wandering about around home in the yard with the camera, picking up odd shots here & there including catching the Tiggakat napping. I also managed and a chunk of reading up on photography in a variety of aspects ranging from the technical through to the philosophical.
Sunday morning I was off to the World Rowing Masters Regatta at Lake Wendouree. Still working on the shots, really haven’t even given them a good initial culling yet. I’ll slip some up later during the week. Probably one here, and anymore on Mirrormere when I get to them. I have to say that Tiggakat’s birthday present of Binoculars was very helpful. Clever little Furbag managed to buy me a set that magnify to about the same factor as my Tamron 150mm – 600mm. Makes shooting and composing quite a deal easier.
I’m currently in the process of deciding on a business card, and making the effort to start an increase in focus on Photography. Now that the depression appears to be managed to a significant stage of improvement; I think I’m going to start moving in a direction I’d like to see my future going towards. I have nearly a dozen requests for Pet Photos from people at work, so I will start organising them soon. I’ve clearly lost the “zest” for I.T. related work, but with almost 20 years in one form or another in this business now, it’s perhaps not surprising.
The weekend’s been great so far, photography both days, as well as the usual mundane tasks related to living. Housework, shopping, and tidying up a few small tasks that have been waiting a while.
Potholes in the Emotional Road…
2014 -
09.19
Feels like I’ve slipped back a little over the last few weeks, but having talked to GP and couple of others who also are on AD’s it’s not unusual to experience a bit of a flat “settling” spot. Anyway I’m going to implement another change to the way I work, and hopefully that will lessen my concerns about the impact of my illness on work.
I’m putting more efforts into my earlier strategies as well to lift myself out of this bit of an emotional slump.
From the Shadows to the Icy Desert…
2014 -
09.16
Yes, yesterday was hard.
Today’s even harder…
Hopefully as the week goes by it will get easier. I feel like I’m walking in a Blizzard, while underneath my feet is a quagmire that is slowly but ever so surely still drowning me in mediocrity and hopelessness. But where is the lifeline…
Well the best I can come up with is that it’s pay day.
Slogging on…
2014 -
09.15
Well I’d like to say it’s great to be going back after 10 days leave, but the truth is I’m not at all. Best things about this morning so far have been the porridge and the rain. Oh and of course Tiggakat jumping in and out due to the rain within the span of every few minutes. Hopefully once there are a few days under my belt it won’t seem so deflating again.
Coffee’s just not good enough this morning!