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    Sparks in the Dark…


    2014 - 11.13

    Despite the funk that’s been hanging over me the last three days, I’ve done some positive things to try and move forward; both out of this dark space, and with my medium to long term goal of trying my hand at the Photography Profession.

    I’ve pulled out “The Happiness Trap” by Russ Harris again, as well as another useful tome called “Your Life on Purpose”. These were helpful early on, but I don’t think two years ago I was quite in the space to make the most use of them. Now perhaps I’m better equipped to do so.

    I’ve bought a couple of extra gizmos, such as the Oregon 600t Garmin GPS and a Hahnel Giga T Pro II 2.4Ghz. I’ve also ordered some business cards, just a small number for the time being, that I can use to give people when asked. I’ve been planning both an additional website and a new domain for a while, and once a few minor expenses are out of the way, I’ll get those up and running too.

    I’ve traded cars with Dad so I’ve not got a Sports Cherokee Jeep, which although not exactly a heavy duty 4 wheel drive, will with a change of tires be helpful in getting me to some of the locations I want to get to for my wildlife shooting.

    Climbing Into the Lifeboat Again…


    2014 - 11.13

    Well seems I’m not out of the woods with the depressive patches. I have been having a very down period this week; partially bought on by painting and varnishing in an enclosed area with what I thought was as much ventilation as I could manage. Clearly it wasn’t enough! Headaches & Nausea for about 36 hours afterwards.

    That in itself wasn’t the depressive trigger, but it did have me feeling sick and uncomfortable enough to let some things at work take root and bring me unstuck for a few days. Why do some people insist on trying to mess with others trying to do their best at work? Why do others seem to think that theirs is the only way to work, and that others are just procrastinating or not work?

    People have different working styles: that’s a fact. It doesn’t mean they’re any less effective, or efficient than anyone else, nor any more I suppose. However if it’s effective for them and gets results that should be what’s important provided it’s all in keeping with being respectful and helpful with regard to others in the workplace.

    Anyway it’s been eating at me for three days now, and I’ve had enough. I’ve pulled out the initial exercises from my early psychological sessions, and rereading a couple of texts I found useful early on too. Fortunately I’ve had a GP appointment already in place for today, and I’ve tried to get a last appointment with my Psychologist for the last couple of years before she retires (lucky person)! Wouldn’t mind being in that position myself. So to begin moving forward I’ve got Barb coming to stay for a couple of days for some company and she’ll be visiting others too, so still have some time to myself to work on things. I’ll be back to work tomorrow, and starting afresh next week.

    The Price of a Day Off…


    2014 - 11.04

    Sometimes it can be costly staying at home for the day! This morning it was Bookdepository, and this afternoon it was a Garmin Oregon 600t Handheld GPS that I’d had my eye on for some time. Both purchases were significant, and both for the Photography.

    Additionally over the weekend there was the purchase of 2 more Cat Deterrents to ease the idea of Chemoux with my neighbours who like to provide a bird friendly environment in their home. I bought two when the advised that Tigga was concerning them with her presence in the areas they provide to encourage birds to the property. They seem to have been quite successful every time I’ve asked about their effectiveness. I can only assume that a couple more won’t go astray with another cat about the place.

    Now it’s simply a matter of what arrives when…

    Who Thinks They’re Sleeping in My Bed…


    2014 - 10.31

    Well Chemoux has arrived, and so far it’s not World War 3! That said there have been a few hisses through the window. At present it’s the Mexican stand-off with “I’m outside, you’re not!” Then there’s the glare at me accompanied by “What the hell!” But so far, Chemoux seems happy enough in her new surroundings. I think she’s happy, just not sure how happy a certain Tiggakat is about the arrangement. If there’s some acceptance, I’m sure I’ll feel more relaxed about the whole change much quicker.

    Week 43…


    2014 - 10.25

    Well another weekend has come around, and yet another week of work has passed. A busy week but it hasn’t exactly dragged, so things are certainly feeling better overall. I think I shall slip off to the wetlands about 500 metres away just before sunrise and see what little feathered critters I can photograph early this morning. I did go over for a scope on Wednesday night, just to get a feel for the light in the evening, and I think the morning should be interesting too. Tiggakat is out and about after a night on the doona, things must have cooled down a bit for her overnight. I got the head massage about 4:00 this morning, but for once I think I’d slept solidly right through the night without waking, so it didn’t feel quite so harsh. It’s been a big week.

    Shards of the Futures Seen…


    2014 - 10.12

    Well it’s been a pretty good week so far. Work’s been OK, things seem to be settling back down there now.

    Saturday was a day wandering about around home in the yard with the camera, picking up odd shots here & there including catching the Tiggakat napping. I also managed and a chunk of reading up on photography in a variety of aspects ranging from the technical through to the philosophical.

    Sunday morning I was off to the World Rowing Masters Regatta at Lake Wendouree. Still working on the shots, really haven’t even given them a good initial culling yet. I’ll slip some up later during the week. Probably one here, and anymore on Mirrormere when I get to them. I have to say that Tiggakat’s birthday present of Binoculars was very helpful. Clever little Furbag managed to buy me a set that magnify to about the same factor as my Tamron 150mm – 600mm. Makes shooting and composing quite a deal easier.

    I’m currently in the process of deciding on a business card, and making the effort to start an increase in focus on Photography. Now that the depression appears to be managed to a significant stage of improvement; I think I’m going to start moving in a direction I’d like to see my future going towards. I have nearly a dozen requests for Pet Photos from people at work, so I will start organising them soon. I’ve clearly lost the “zest” for I.T. related work, but with almost 20 years in one form or another in this business now, it’s perhaps not surprising.

    The weekend’s been great so far, photography both days, as well as the usual mundane tasks related to living. Housework, shopping, and tidying up a few small tasks that have been waiting a while.

    A New Coat of Paint…


    2014 - 09.20

    Well started out today feeling like I was in a bit of a hole. I Didn’t sleep well at all last night, and struggled to get to sleep as it was by early hours of the morning. However getting a substantial amount of preparation, and the painting of the first coat done for upstairs, and the downstairs passage & toilet area, feeling like something positive will come out of the weekend.

    Yes it's bright!

    Lounge After First Coat

    Tomorrow the second (hopefully final) coat will go on, and the TV will be mounted on the wall. If I get that much done, and perhaps some more of the furniture moved about, I’ll be happy with the weekend’s activities and productivity. I’m passing on my 4 Drawer Filing Cabinet to a friend, and slipping an old TV unit out onto the Nature Strip as a Free Pickup for someone bargain hunting.

    Anyway I certainly think today will help get that sleep pattern back into shape quick smart.

    A certain Furbag is somewhat bemused by the whole day’s activities given that the house looks like a bomb’s hit it.

    Potholes in the Emotional Road…


    2014 - 09.19

    Feels like I’ve slipped back a little over the last few weeks, but having talked to GP and couple of others who also are on AD’s it’s not unusual to experience a bit of a flat “settling” spot. Anyway I’m going to implement another change to the way I work, and hopefully that will lessen my concerns about the impact of my illness on work.

    I’m putting more efforts into my earlier strategies as well to lift myself out of this bit of an emotional slump.

    From the Shadows to the Icy Desert…


    2014 - 09.16

    Yes, yesterday was hard.

    Today’s even harder…

    Hopefully as the week goes by it will get easier. I feel like I’m walking in a Blizzard, while underneath my feet is a quagmire that is slowly but ever so surely still drowning me in mediocrity and hopelessness. But where is the lifeline…

    Well the best I can come up with is that it’s pay day.

    Slogging on…


    2014 - 09.15

    Well I’d like to say it’s great to be going back after 10 days leave, but the truth is I’m not at all. Best things about this morning so far have been the porridge and the rain. Oh and of course Tiggakat jumping in and out due to the rain within the span of every few minutes. Hopefully once there are a few days under my belt it won’t seem so deflating again.

    Coffee’s just not good enough this morning!