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    On the Rise & Looking Over as Sol Rises…


    2015 - 10.04

    Moving into October already, it’s hard to know where all the year has gone. However, it’s winding to a close in much better space than it started. Clearly events seem to be unfolding as close to my intended plan as I could have hoped. A good 2 month break from work, and now some part-time work about to start. All that is left is to achieve the right balance between work & required income. Hopefully those conditions will become clear soon.

    The hope is that I can manage enough free time to be able to really apply myself to the photography business and create some solid foundations there and still be able to pay for the mortgage & cat food. If I can’t the Furbags may be unhappy to say the least!

    I’ve still not yet got the online shop up yet, but I’m prioritising it this week, as I don’t really know how much time I will have after this coming week. I’ve updated the server and the Apache and WordPress installations in preparation for moving over to full SSL before putting the online store up. After consideration I didn’t want to proceed with going live with the production version until the SSL was in place and fully tested. Hopefully that will be sorted by Wednesday and stock will go in the store that day. All looking good, it should go live for the Weekend.

    Clearly my Depression has been halted from worsening, and has certainly lessened to the point I’d say it’s improved to the best it’s been ever. I don’t want to say it’s cured, I don’t think I’m at that point, nor if I’ll ever be, but clearly I’m fully functional and been experiencing a significant amount of happiness over the last couple of months.

    Not Exactly the Yellow Brick Road…


    2015 - 09.24

    Well it’s been another week passed and still I seem to be holding my own. I’ve had a couple of “flat” days, but nothing like the Depression I had been feeling just over two months ago. In general things seem to be back on track. Hopefully work is going to sort itself out over the next couple of weeks. I’m hopeful that I won’t need to pull full-time hours to get back into the “Black” at this stage but plan on going at it for up to twelve months to try and make the part-time work.

    While I’m doing that, it’s going to be work at the Photography and find as many options for bringing in some money with it over the next twelve Months. I do believe there’ll be time to get a full-time role down the track if it becomes absolutely necessary to stay afloat.

    As an aside, I managed to procure those texts I was discussing in a recent post, and I managed to get 50% off the total price, so managed to get them for under AU$110 in the end from the same publisher that was already the cheapest. Interestingly I’ve noticed Australian prices for books, boardgames and photography gear going up, despite the fact that they were blaming GST exclusions and the high Aussie Dollar. Western Society in general is just such a greedy beast.

    Seeing Through the Veils of the Mind…


    2015 - 09.18

    Well I can see it’s been several weeks since the last update. That’s not indicative of a Depressive Relapse, it just means I’ve been very busy lately. It seems that the days are just flying by now with not enough time in the day to get done all I want to get done. It is quite amazing how it’s so like coming out of a fog, and the days are becoming bright, vibrant and nourishing in a strange but welcome way. I’ve not had a serious bout of Depression since Mid-July and despite money being tight, and the bills still coming in I’ve managed to stay afloat with the generous help of friends and family.

    Today I’ve had word that there will be some work coming up for me in a few weeks, requiring only the need to jump through some hoops for a bit of paper work and I should have some part-time work very soon. I am looking forward to feeling more financially independent again, but things have had to go the way they’ve gone to get where I am now: feeling Happy and managing the Depression very well at this stage.

    The Furbags think it’s been fantastic having me here home at their beckoned call for so long. Unfortunately I’ve had to endure much saving of Lizards, Beetles, Birds, and other gifts of appreciation. Still they’ve been very helpful for getting me through; they are both a source of much joy and amusement.

    I’m hoping to put quite a bit of effort into my Photography and really start getting the business off the ground over the next 6 months. Fortunately now it looks like I will have part-time work to help fund my attempt. I’ve not got my tax return notice yet to know if any money is coming back to me this year, but hopefully I will get something back. Anything to put towards the upcoming regular bills I have at this time of year will be most welcome. As it is, things are good.

    As an aside I’ve managed to blow my Internet Quota for the first time EVER! I guess that must mean I’ve been home more than I should surfing photography blogs!

    Azathoth Defeated…


    2015 - 08.21

    Mark & I christened the Gaming Table tonight with our first game of Elder Sign. I’ve played the iPad version, and enjoyed it for several years, but only recently purchased the boardgame via Book Depository while it was reduced, along with one of the Expansions. We even won the game, which is more than I can say happens very often with the iPad version of the game. I think I’ve only won about 3 games in all my time playing it. That said, I’m always playing the harder Old Ones, so deserved to be punished.

    It was good to finally have a game on the new table with someone else and enjoy the experience of having an “arena” for the games! Here I am mulling over the next step (photo courtesy of Mark).

    Used Spell.

    This table was a project of mine earlier in the week. A $200 Board Gaming table top. At the moment it just needs the corners finished off nicely, and then after I’ll finish designing and building the lid. I engaged the assistance of my father with this little project for a bit of “Father / Son” time (and the extra pair of hands). We both enjoyed the afternoon putting it together although I’m pretty sure Dad didn’t “get it” until he saw it coming together. Anyway it was good to spend some time with him on a project and get to use my own power tools. Clearly I’m now out of Apprenticeship and am allowed to handle my own tools. 🙂

    Out of the Inferno, Through Purgatory and on to Paradise…


    2015 - 08.14

    I’m finally starting to feel different and no longer still feeling echoes of my stint at my previous place of work. I actually feel detached from it now. It’s been a month since I resigned, and my sleeping has changed dramatically, my mood has been constantly elevated, and I’ve at no point felt a drifting towards another depressive patch. My health overall is improving. I’ve lost weight (not more than about 3 kg) but feeling that another kilo or two may not be unrealistic, and I’ve not had to try hard for that to happen. I’m reducing my sugar intake steadily although I’m not completely avoiding it yet. I’m certainly eating more healthy options than I was four months ago on a consistent basis. Not that my eating was unhealthy by any huge measure. But I’m changing some of what I eat and changing how I eat it. So far it’s all been for the better. I don’t see the Anti-Depressants going away soon but I’m certainly feeling more benefits from them than I was over the last six months.

    To sum up the work and health side of things up at the moment, less money but better quality of life. I know that without work for a period of time longer than a few months that will be difficult to maintain however that’s not the intention. The goal was always to be getting out of what was holding me back. Nothing more.

    The Furbags are very happy to have me home constantly at the present, although I’ve applied for two jobs so far in the last two weeks. Both jobs have been ones that I really couldn’t justify NOT applying for given that they were both in Ballarat. I hadn’t wanted to go looking for work for another month or so, but I figured either of these jobs couldn’t be up & running within 4 weeks anyway. I’m certainly not going to ignore good opportunities, just because they come up quick. I think the Furbags will have me home for a while yet. They’re getting plenty of “pat overdose” at the moment. They’re also keeping me happy and amused. I’ve been rigging up some cardboard boxes for them to play with during the week and it’s been hilarious watching them try to sneak into one after the other one has wandered off for a snack.

    It’s been nearly a week, and the new DNS servers are performing well. I’ve fixed a couple of configuration issues that I’d forgotten to check on the other servers with Static configurations and the network is the snappiest it’s ever been. I’ve also handed the servers a bit and cleaned up the firewall rules now that a few old activities are no longer happening. All in all very please. I’ve purchased another NAS as I’ve been very happy with the current one and need to provided some better Disaster Recovery options for the photography business side of things.

    I’ve scraped enough extra cash up to invest in a carbon fibre legged tripod for the trekking for the outdoor shooting. My gear has been getting heavier to carry over the last year on the treks out. I opted for another Manfrotto Tripod. It’s a tricky balance between sturdiness and stability; compactness & weight being the counterbalance. I opted for the X Pro 3 way head as against the alternative 496RC2. I’ve tried a couple of friend’s “Ball Heads”, and confess to not finding them my preferred mode. It is probably me, but I find it easier to deal along each axis individually, than wrestle with the weight of the camera & Lens while trying to position a “Ball Head”. I’ve yet to take it on a trek out, only having received it today, but since shoots have been scarce for a month and a half, I sense a few shoots coming up over the next week or two: life outside of Photography has been rather busy and full of change.

    Sweet Sweet Desert Island…


    2015 - 08.05

    Three weeks ago I resigned my previous role. Overall I’ve seen a dramatic increase in my level of happiness and a commensurate decrease in my level of Depression through the last 3 weeks. Since I made that decision of getting out of my previous workplace’s negative environment, I’ve had a steady path onward to increasingly better feelings. I’ve started to enjoy activities again that previously were simply numb attempts at trying to feel better. Clearly it was the best choice I could have made. Nothing else was moving forward anymore.

    In fact I was losing ground again slowly but surely. At least so it seemed for the most part. Then when least expected but most needed: Epiphany! In an Ocean of Despair appears a place to drop anchor, take on Fresh Water and Sustenance. A Desert Island to Rejuvenate my Soul.

    Since then most things have fallen into place in a very positive manner. Financially things couldn’t be much better considering I’m not a man of savings. But preparation, good friends and the truth has meant that I’ve been able to position myself to begin weathering the storm at least starting with a good supply of hope and positivity. Already I’ve put in for one role, although it’s a bit early, it did seem one of those things where I needed to be willing to do what was required. Results will unfold in time. Nothing has to happen tomorrow.

    The Furbags are eating and so am I, and on a daily basis that’s what’s important right now.

    Weighing Up Anchor…


    2015 - 07.18

    Well I’ve taken the plunge, but it seems necessary to move on and continue to press forward with recovery from my Depression. Last Tuesday I resigned from my present job with nothing to go to immediately. Reckless as it sounds, I honestly believe that my previous role had disintegrated to a daily struggle and the organisation I did it within was toxic to the core. Since all other areas of my life seemed to be moving forward with regard to the Depression, work was beginning to feel more & more like a boat anchor that had not yet hit the sea bed!

    So, I’ve set myself the goal of six to eight weeks chilling out and making sure that I’m definitely moving forward in my recovery, and that there’s nothing else holding me back. After that point, all things being as I have predicted, at the two month mark I should be healthy enough again to seriously start job seeking again. I know it’s a tough market out there at the moment, but staying where I was clearly did more harm than good, and the money wasn’t worth it. I had a fair bit of cream in that salary, so I can afford a drop if necessary to secure a future role. And, that said, I may not even work in I.T. anymore anyway. This last position has sort of tainted my perceptions of corporate I.T. and where it’s going. I may very well pick a job in another area when I’m ready.

    Photography and building my business is definitely the overall goal, but I have decided that I’ll put the last twelve months down as research and preparation, and the gathering of resources. My five year plan starts from now with regard to Shards of Arcadia.

    I’m going to be working hard on my stock art collection over the next few weeks to get a larger collection of that on sale. However I won’t be working so hard that I won’t be relaxing, and rebuilding my reserves, nor will I be ignoring my recovery.

    Fresh as a Polar Breeze…


    2015 - 07.12

    Well I finally feel as if I’m going to get some traction again. The increase in my AD dose is helping considerably. It’s allowing me to “feel positive” and re-evaluate some choices. A couple of decisions about what to do with some boat anchors in regard to my Depression have been made and now I am able to put some action into enacting those decisions.

    It’s currently bitterly cold outside, 2.4ËšC with an apparent temperature of -1.7ËšC but the world looks and feels fresh! Even the Furbags are “crisp” 🙂

    The Grindstone…


    2015 - 06.27

    Still a bit of a rolling ride lately. I’ve had the AD’s upped again, in the hope of getting back to work regularly. It’s still been a problem for me over several months. Hopefully the increase in dose will allow me to get back on the horse and stay on it this time around. I know it doesn’t have to be forever, but at the moment I need to get it back to the norm. After all, I still need money just for now. No more toys until I can get the dollars back up, the gap under the mattress is looking pretty empty.

    Life with Furbags…


    2015 - 06.19

    This can’t be normal.

    It’s 01:00, approximately 3.8ËšC (apparent temperature is -0.8Ëš), I’m naked, running about the house with a long cobweb brush, empty plastic milk container, turning lights on & off inside & out. The Back Door is wide open with freezing air rolling in like fog.

    I’m trying to coax a bat back outside because a certain Furbag (Chemoux) has bought it in and I can’t go back to sleep without getting it outside. Tiggakat & Chemoux think it’s a great laugh, they’re joining in on the “fun” chasing each other about the house.

    I am batsh*t crazy!