Ramblings regarding my journey through the Cosmos…
Feels like I’ve slipped back a little over the last few weeks, but having talked to GP and couple of others who also are on AD’s it’s not unusual to experience a bit of a flat “settling” spot. Anyway I’m going to implement another change to the way I work, and hopefully that will lessen my concerns about the impact of my illness on work.
I’m putting more efforts into my earlier strategies as well to lift myself out of this bit of an emotional slump.
Yes, yesterday was hard.
Today’s even harder…
Hopefully as the week goes by it will get easier. I feel like I’m walking in a Blizzard, while underneath my feet is a quagmire that is slowly but ever so surely still drowning me in mediocrity and hopelessness. But where is the lifeline…
Well the best I can come up with is that it’s pay day.
Well I’d like to say it’s great to be going back after 10 days leave, but the truth is I’m not at all. Best things about this morning so far have been the porridge and the rain. Oh and of course Tiggakat jumping in and out due to the rain within the span of every few minutes. Hopefully once there are a few days under my belt it won’t seem so deflating again.
Coffee’s just not good enough this morning!
It’s been a while, but I’m seriously preparing for the removal of the last vestiges of Windows from the Andulain.net domain. I’ve not used my PC for over 200 days now, the iMac 27″ has seen to that. I’m no longer buying games that don’t provide an OS X client as part of their offering. In fact over 1/3 of my games in STEAM have an OS X client. I’ve basically found a solid replacement for all the major applications I used under windows, and most of the smaller ones too.
My only windows now is a virtual running on virtual box. It’s legitimate of course as is all the software too. But it’s really only there for “others”. I ran into one excel incompatibility between the OS X version and the Windows version on a form for a job application, but outside of that, rarely need anything from windows. On the “odd” time that I feel I “must” use a flash based site, I will use it under the virtual windows now. I no longer pollute my OS X with a flash installation. To be honest most of the time if a site is using flash I go elsewhere now. Youtube also loses out a lot, as I rarely bother if the video wants flash. The VM does perfectly well in the rare instance that I make the effort to watch such a video.
It’s likely this domain will have moved over to OS X Server before the year’s end. Windows will stay only on the basis of “development” / “test” for occupational education and training purposes. Let’s face it, work provides no training, so the only way to stay current is to provide that myself.
I’d say after I purchase another external HDD to provide the Store for what used to be resourced from the Windows Domain, it will be migrated completely to OS X.
Looking I see that it’s been about 6 months since I last updated. During that last 6 months quite a bit has happened, mainly on the Depression front. Obviously this was the main task to deal with over the last six months, as I was disappearing down a vortex, feeling like I was never to return. I finally bit the bullet and acquiesced on the Anti-Depressants. I must say that’s been a positive choice for me. My GP favours a gradual approach, so I’m pleased to say that outside of the first fortnight, I experienced no devastating side effects. My outlook on my place of work has changed enough for me to be able to function quite positively again. I can get there on a regular basis again. I’ve not had a period of depression that has had me debilitated to the point of not being able to get to work.
Financially things are getting much better, I’ve had my two big spending efforts for the year, and I’m now back on track to knocking of the last of the debt outside of the house. I’m loving my iMac 27″, and my Tamron 150mm to 600mm lens. Now it’s back to financial responsiblity.
From a more general perspective life has changed too. Considerably in some aspects. I get up now about 4:40 on a work day, about 5:00 to 5:30 on a “non” work day. Mornings are something I am beginning to appreciate again. In fact if I do sleep in, I’m quite frustrated by how much of my day I’m losing out on now. Overall I’m more social again and am getting out again far more. I’ve been making quite active efforts to keep in touch with people on a regular basis again, and it’s been good to renew some old friendships (yes Papoose that’s you)!
At home the “maintenance” tasks aren’t appearing so overwhelming now because there’s generally no one else to assist.
Photography is providing far more enjoyment again. I’ve got some trips planned for some shoots, and there’s a good quality handheld GPS on the list soon. My work has been improving, and my skill set is continually growing. I’m very pleased where that is taking me.
A friend asked me to help her out with her pet project that she’s been working on for the last couple of years. Her project is called Blossom Connect. Give it a look, it’s a worthy pursuit. Our Society undervalues our children and short changes them so much by stinting on Educational and Social Resources.
Louise’s been working on this to see that local children get the support they need to assist their “learning and development”. She wanted some photos shot of her with some of the children she seeks to help while she was playing, interacting with them just to help give the site a bit more of a sense of what it’s about and who it’s for really. Louise’s invitation was a bit surprising since I’ve never made much secret of being any good with children or being particularly fond of them. Still it’s a challenge worthy of pursuit and I’m pleased she thought to give me an opportunity to stretch out my repertoire and help her cause. Hopefully I will do both her faith and the Children justice. Many thanks to The Children, their Parents, and Louise for the opportunity. I won’t be using any of the photos on my site, as I didn’t gain permission for that sort of use, so the finished products will only be available to see at Blossom Connect. As I said it’s worth a look, you may want to use it yourself or suggest it to someone you know in the future.
I had a different sort of photography shoot last weekend, a still life, but something a bit different. My friend Stu brought his Watch Collection up for me to shoot for him. He collects watches (mostly diving it seems), and wanted some shots done to be able to present them to other people who also collect such watches. It was definitely good to have a different type of challenge. He wanted them shot in Natural Light, and it’s amazing how much light can reflect off a watch when you’re trying to photograph one. Surprisingly after a few shots with the Macro on the D7000, and then my D600 with the Tamron 24-70mm it was clear that my Tamron 24-70mm was the lens for the shoot.
Still I learned a trick or two, and although I’ve not finished the post processing yet for him, I feel some good work was achieved, and some new knowledge and skills developed. I’ll get some shots up on Mirrormere in a week or so. Thanks for the chance Stu!
Things seem to be coming along well in my journey through the Straits of Depression. I’ve managed to keep my head above water for almost a month now, without a profound bout of Depression. That’s not to say the Depression isn’t lurking at every corner, but at the moment I feel a sense of being able to float above it, not completely out of the depths, but at least if I was in quicksand, I’d be able to feel the breeze under my armpits! So far, with the help of my Psychologist, a Team Leader & Manager at work willing to exercise a bit of flexibility, I’m feeling better about a few things, including work. That’s not to say I’m doing Great! However, my days are noticeably changing. I’m up and out of bed most mornings at 06:00 feeling at least like facing the day and trying to some things done. I’m not quite so settled with the being in bed at 22:00 in the evening, that’s a psychological challenge, but I’m making the effort and clearly there’s benefits.
No, there’s no extension on the house, no there’s no Garage, but at least I’m working towards getting a list of tasks done about the place. In addition I’m starting to enjoy other aspects of life again. My photography is providing me with considerable challenge and enjoyment, and I can honestly say I hope I can turn that into something to give me an income in my later years. There’s a bit of Creative Writing going on again, but I’m not ready to share that yet. I at least am starting to think about the future again, as I’m definitely over IT.
A couple of weeks ago I attended a funeral for a friend. Helen was what I would consider “one of the best of Souls”. She really was one of those people who took you as you were, and always saw the good in you first and foremost. Even though her life had been difficult at best for a significant number of years, her love for those around her, those she cared for, never seemed to waver. I was privileged to know her and count her as a friend. She will be sorely missed. She was not “a celebrity”, she was not a record breaking athlete, a scientist making new breakthroughs. She was a beautiful human being that exemplified what really makes us great as people. The world is less for her having died. I will miss her, and her partner Mick has my full sympathy and help whenever he needs it.
My copy of Miskatonic Horror arrived today. That means I now own every expansion for Arkham Horror that’s available except for the Revised Edition of Curse of the Dark Pharaoh. Although I’d not say it’s necessarily the best game I own, it’s my favourite. Can’t wait until the coming weekend to get it all out on the table!