Ramblings regarding my journey through the Cosmos…
It’s been a fairly disheartening day. I watched my tax return of a bit over two thousand evaporate into paying bills that have been building up. It took less than five minutes to vanish and produce nothing except reaching ground zero from underneath. It seems the only advance we’ve made from the Eighteenth Century is that we live longer to pay more & more bills.
Today feels like the expecting to win the battle against email spam: untenable.
As best as I can tell the interview went well, but I’ve learned that I’m clearly not the best judge of such things these days, as you really can’t tell what’s going on behind the scenes. Often we are applying for jobs that are already decided for some internal candidate, and the business is just going through the motions. At least with this one I can be confident that there are not internal candidates waiting for the process to finish and then gain the roles in spite of good candidates being available externally.
Of course even if I’m successful gaining a position, the role isn’t guaranteed for several months. That in itself is not necessarily any different than being on contract, but it’s the financial climb up from the crevass of debt that opens up underneath me while I’m not generating an income via employment or the photography business that grinds on my soul.
It’s difficult to not feel it’s a losing battle. The empty promise of Australia as the “Lucky Country” as outlined by Donald Horne in 1964 hasn’t changed even 50 years later. We’re still a country that skids along on it’s arse being driven by mediocre and self centred individuals, i.e. Politicians & Business Leaders unwilling to tell the truth to the community and suck it dry every day even in “retirement”. Our community seems mostly undefended by Intellectuals and Entrepreneurs who could help us attain some nobility and caring in purpose and direction as a nation. We’re a nation that seems to follow blindly rather than a leader that leads and opens the way for others.
Bit of a weird day so far, I slept in and that’s always a bit disconcerting for me these days. I realise now that I can’t afford my sleep pattern to be messed up for more than a day or so.
I have decided to stay on the Anti-Depressants for another three to six months at this stage since I have a fair bit of financial pressure on me at the moment and thats one pressure I find difficult to deal with in the sense that without work, there’s nothing that can be done about it. It seems unwise to continue to tail off them just at the moment as after starting a reduction regime several things have happened concurrently requiring significant effort to deal with over extended periods. I was starting to become vulnerable to Depressive states again.
So after discussion with GP I’ve gone back to my previous maximum dose with the plan to review in 3 months time with a goal of reduction in six months if the financial situation is improving.
It’s turned out to be still a bit too windy today for more Macro shooting, so I’ve been working on a Spring Clean. It’s amazing how much I still have in boxes that I could get rid of and not notice. Apparently I’m a bit of a hoarder.
Unfortunately I can’t see any of it being of value to anyone else either. So going to the effort of trying to sell it would be a waste of time & resources. I suppose it’s good e-waste, but that’s not returning as much as it should. Either way it’s space back I can use.
Today I decided to heed the weather warnings and stayed close to home. I went around the corner to Chris’ house and we played Mansions of Madness Version 2. That was very entertaining, funny even, very enjoyable overall. The new mechanic of working with an application as the “Keeper” seems to work very well. Chris enjoyed it as well and even thinks his wife (Gabi) will enjoy it next time.
I would say my only disappointment about the game is the fact that upon release there are only 4 adventures included with the application initially. According to reviewers on the internet, there are several “endings” for each adventure. Additionally I’m sure that when you have the expansions included from either version one or two, that gives it even more replay ability. Let’s hope that Fantasy Flight Games add some more adventures soon. I thoroughly recommend it.
I must have been more tired than I realised, as I slept in until after 07:00 this morning, so getting to the Grampians at a reasonable time didn’t really happen. Shot a text to Tony apologising, thinking that if the Weather isn’t as bad as they are predicting, I should get there on Sunday instead.
Given that the weather was fantastic today for Macro Shooting, that is barely a breeze, I spent the afternoon out shooting various subjects around home. I pulled out the Stackshot and had some further practise with it and the iPad software. The lack of breeze did allow me to get some wonderfully stacked Macro shots. Those of you on the mailing list will have seen a few of them. I was pretty happy with the results and look forward to some more work with the gear later in the week.
So it seems that I must have been reasonably successful during the Assessment Session and have been invited to an Interview next week. Interestingly I don’t feel much pressure for that after yesterday’s session.
I’m also planning a Trip to the Grampians to catch up with Tony & Bec on Saturday.
Had an Assessment Session with a potential Employer this morning, it was fairly intensive so I’m not sure how that’s going to turn out. Other than that nothing significant today.
The last Twenty Four hours have indicated to me that the predominant factor influencing the increase of Depression I’ve been feeling over the last month is clearly related to my sense of impending financial meltdown. I’ve noticed a positive sense of self increasing since having the call about the Assessment Session tomorrow. I’m hoping therefore that knowing a regular income will improve my outlook and seriously diminish my Depression levels.
I’ve had a bite to an application (work) I submitted earlier today, so hopefully something will come out of the “Assessment Session” on Thursday morning. More on that to follow I hope. Fingers crossed as the money factor is becoming Urgent! I’ve managed to limp past that 12 month benchmark I hoped I could last when I planned this life change in June last year.