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  • A cold windy night…

    2009 - 06.29

    Yes it’s been a while, but life is rolling on, albeit slowly. I’ve been suffering a several bouts of depression over the last few months, more so than normal: I guess health issues are pecking away at me: the vultures are beginning to flock. The last six months of varying health issues, have no doubt exacerbated my irregular but consistent periods of depression.

    I’ve lived with Depression since my teens, possibly younger, although professionals differ on whether children experience clinical depression. Either way, there’s no doubt I’ve had to live with it prior to, then through active addiction and also through recovery. I won’t say that it’s been much easier to deal with it the last 19 years, but at least I’m experiencing it’s full intensity and surviving without “anesthetizing” it. Still that doesn’t mean it’s fun, nor does it mean it’s unsurmountable. It’s just, well “depressing”! 🙂

    Hopefully I’m moving out of this period now, and things can look up. Normally it’s about August / September that I experience it at it’s worst, but somehow I’m hoping it’s struck early this year, and I’ll be in for the rest of the year looking upwards psychologically and emotionally.

    It’s been eight months since my last relationship ended, and I’m starting to loosen up the armor again. I generally have a rule of not less than 12 months in between “liasons” outside of extenuating circumstances. Specifically there’s no manifest reason to do so yet. I don’t intend engaging in anything other than shallow and unadulterated sex for several months yet.

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