• About
  • Archives
  • Categories
  • Archive for the ‘Work’ Category

    By the Campfire…


    2016 - 10.15

    I feel my level of Depression increasing daily at the moment. It’s not so much the lack of job prospects, it’s simply the Jackals “just outside the range of firelight”, and the Vultures circling above; financially I mean of course. I get daily calls for which I have no option at this stage to deal with as I have no resources to offer with any plan. I know it’s a useless strategy but the only thing I can do at present is ignore them until I have a plan and some money to with which to broker a deal.

    It’s very windy, not quite as bad as last weekend, but still fairly wild later in the day. I had indicated I would go to Geelong to day to celebrate a birthday, but today I just can’t deal with people in person (yes I know but that’s the way it is today).

    Slowly Sliding…


    2016 - 10.14

    There’s really nothing to highlight today, I’m feeling the Depression closing in as the “unknown number” calls keep increasing and there’s only one potential job on the horizon. As I said, I felt the interview went well so I can only wait until next week to find out how it will pan out.

    Cyberspace and the Gaseous State…


    2016 - 10.13

    It’s been a fairly disheartening day. I watched my tax return of a bit over two thousand evaporate into paying bills that have been building up. It took less than five minutes to vanish and produce nothing except reaching ground zero from underneath. It seems the only advance we’ve made from the Eighteenth Century is that we live longer to pay more & more bills.

    Today feels like the expecting to win the battle against email spam: untenable.

    Navigating Against the Odds…


    2016 - 10.12

    As best as I can tell the interview went well, but I’ve learned that I’m clearly not the best judge of such things these days, as you really can’t tell what’s going on behind the scenes. Often we are applying for jobs that are already decided for some internal candidate, and the business is just going through the motions. At least with this one I can be confident that there are not internal candidates waiting for the process to finish and then gain the roles in spite of good candidates being available externally.

    Of course even if I’m successful gaining a position, the role isn’t guaranteed for several months. That in itself is not necessarily any different than being on contract, but it’s the financial climb up from the crevass of debt that opens up underneath me while I’m not generating an income via employment or the photography business that grinds on my soul.

    It’s difficult to not feel it’s a losing battle. The empty promise of Australia as the “Lucky Country” as outlined by Donald Horne in 1964 hasn’t changed even 50 years later. We’re still a country that skids along on it’s arse being driven by mediocre and self centred individuals, i.e. Politicians & Business Leaders unwilling to tell the truth to the community and suck it dry every day even in “retirement”. Our community seems mostly undefended by Intellectuals and Entrepreneurs who could help us attain some nobility and caring in purpose and direction as a nation. We’re a nation that seems to follow blindly rather than a leader that leads and opens the way for others.

    Regrouping Tactics…


    2016 - 10.11

    Bit of a weird day so far, I slept in and that’s always a bit disconcerting for me these days. I realise now that I can’t afford my sleep pattern to be messed up for more than a day or so.

    I have decided to stay on the Anti-Depressants for another three to six months at this stage since I have a fair bit of financial pressure on me at the moment and thats one pressure I find difficult to deal with in the sense that without work, there’s nothing that can be done about it. It seems unwise to continue to tail off them just at the moment as after starting a reduction regime several things have happened concurrently requiring significant effort to deal with over extended periods. I was starting to become vulnerable to Depressive states again.

    So after discussion with GP I’ve gone back to my previous maximum dose with the plan to review in 3 months time with a goal of reduction in six months if the financial situation is improving.

    Small Steps Ahead…


    2016 - 10.07

    So it seems that I must have been reasonably successful during the Assessment Session and have been invited to an Interview next week. Interestingly I don’t feel much pressure for that after yesterday’s session.

    I’m also planning a Trip to the Grampians to catch up with Tony & Bec on Saturday.

    Opportunities…


    2016 - 10.06

    Had an Assessment Session with a potential Employer this morning, it was fairly intensive so I’m not sure how that’s going to turn out. Other than that nothing significant today.

    The Threads of the Mind…


    2016 - 10.05

    The last Twenty Four hours have indicated to me that the predominant factor influencing the increase of Depression I’ve been feeling over the last month is clearly related to my sense of impending financial meltdown. I’ve noticed a positive sense of self increasing since having the call about the Assessment Session tomorrow. I’m hoping therefore that knowing a regular income will improve my outlook and seriously diminish my Depression levels.

    Sparkle like a Distant Star…


    2016 - 10.04

    I’ve had a bite to an application (work) I submitted earlier today, so hopefully something will come out of the “Assessment Session” on Thursday morning. More on that to follow I hope. Fingers crossed as the money factor is becoming Urgent! I’ve managed to limp past that 12 month benchmark I hoped I could last when I planned this life change in June last year.

    Struggling…


    2016 - 09.28

    I must say I’ve been struggling the last few weeks. It seems the constant Black to Red to Red to Black to Red to Red to Red to Black etc of the finances since losing the last lot of part time work has been wearing me down. I’ve noticed quite a few things slipping, and the last one has been the sleeping cycle. I can feel my depressive levels increasing and this has been borne out by the monitoring I’ve been doing over the last 18 months.

    I need to pull several things in together and prevent another dive into where I was around June 2015. It’s not the lack of money that’s hurting, it’s the increasing pressure of the services that I can’t really change anymore. I’ve actually managed to decrease my electricity and gas costs over the last six months compared to last year which is pretty amazing considering it’s been colder (I think) for the most part of this winter compared to last. My food budget is well under what most households would be even accounting for my lack of partner & children. Don’t think you can do much better than $60 / week for groceries. Vegetarianism may help a bit, but I’ve already been keeping a fine line on the grocery budget over the last year.

    I wasn’t deluding myself thinking I was going to be self sufficient with Shards of Arcadia by now, I’d been counting on part-time work to keep me afloat while still building the business. However without that being enough to meet the outgoings over the last twelve months, it’s been a slow slide. I really can’t last another six months of this “income”. Anybody who thinks that living on $530 a fortnight is a holiday is clearly out of touch with the reality of the cost of living in Australian Society. I know I’m not the only one, I’ve watched several friends lose their roles too, and there’s no guarantees of work for any of us anymore.

    Anyway I’m not wanting to be morbid, just needing to express this and move on. I’ve made a personal commitment to myself to really put in some yards by way of holding my days together. So now I have a monthly commitment to a post every day on this site until at least the end of October.

    I feel somehow that I’ve sold my soul and not in a good way by signing up to a number of “paid survey” sites to try and scrape up some cash. I have to say I’ve been pumping away at them and feel suitably “dirty”. Oh well, a new personal low.

    On a positive note the Furbags will have food until at least the end of the year! I still have friends, I’m warm and have a roof over my head. It’s a good thing I’m a man of simple needs.