I began to wonder today if this most recent bout of Depression isn’t really trying to make me realise that I’m just really in the wrong space at this point. No matter which Personality Test I have taken over the years, they consistently indicate that my Personality Type really isn’t supposed to be doing, or expected to be doing what I do for a living now. My Personality Type is generally expected to be best suited for Helping Professions, Teaching Professions, or Artistic endeavours. I think it’s really time I bit the bullet and made some tough choices. After all, I am really quite over working in IT!
Archive for the ‘Goals’ Category
A New Hope…
2014 -
12.06
Well the last few weeks have been hard! Depression has been eating away at me again. At least this time I’ve managed to use my recovery process for it to spur me on to do some things I’ve been wanting to do! I’ve put in quite a bit of effort at trying to generate an income from my photography, updating Shards of Arcadia, creating an Etsy shop ShardsOfArcadia, setting some wheels in motion for other aspects of the business that may allow me to work part-time or even provide income enough to see me retire. I’ve even registered the domains ShardsOfArcadia.com & .net. I’m not yet ready to load up there, but it’s mine if I’m going to use it later.
Anyway it’s provided motivation where there’s been none, and hopefully some future hope!
The Sinking Ship or the Lifeboat…
2014 -
11.24
I’ve decided to take the chance and start trying to market some of my Photography. Clearly I’m not in a position to leave my day job, and I doubt I will be for some time to come.
Yet it feels to me that now might be the right time to make that plunge into the alternative economic options for my future. I have to say that my current job is driving me crazy. Feeling shackled by the Golden Handcuffs is clearly not helpful for my depression. If I don’t give it a go, I won’t know, as they say! If I can put as much energy and work into it as I did twenty years ago for computing I may just be able to make an accpetable (to me) living from photography or a combination of that and some other options.
Change, Change, Change…
2014 -
11.18
I wasn’t really planning it, as I said the other day, a bit of retail therapy, which was definitely NOT necessary, but will prove useful. I’m just finishing off configuring up the iPhone 6 that arrived today, and am just about to get to the new iPad Air 2 that also arrived. The iPhone looks great in it’s new Otterbox Defender that also arrived conveniently at the same time.
If I was to cite my most immediate benefit, I suppose it is being able to synchronise the whole iTunes library now, instead of having to pick a selection to synchronise due to capacity limitations. Not much to some, but it’s been a real pain for me over several versions of the iPhone preceding. From the iPad it’s handy to have more capacity with regard to photos, and the extra processing power is handy too.
Sparks in the Dark…
2014 -
11.13
Despite the funk that’s been hanging over me the last three days, I’ve done some positive things to try and move forward; both out of this dark space, and with my medium to long term goal of trying my hand at the Photography Profession.
I’ve pulled out “The Happiness Trap” by Russ Harris again, as well as another useful tome called “Your Life on Purpose”. These were helpful early on, but I don’t think two years ago I was quite in the space to make the most use of them. Now perhaps I’m better equipped to do so.
I’ve bought a couple of extra gizmos, such as the Oregon 600t Garmin GPS and a Hahnel Giga T Pro II 2.4Ghz. I’ve also ordered some business cards, just a small number for the time being, that I can use to give people when asked. I’ve been planning both an additional website and a new domain for a while, and once a few minor expenses are out of the way, I’ll get those up and running too.
I’ve traded cars with Dad so I’ve not got a Sports Cherokee Jeep, which although not exactly a heavy duty 4 wheel drive, will with a change of tires be helpful in getting me to some of the locations I want to get to for my wildlife shooting.
Climbing Into the Lifeboat Again…
2014 -
11.13
Well seems I’m not out of the woods with the depressive patches. I have been having a very down period this week; partially bought on by painting and varnishing in an enclosed area with what I thought was as much ventilation as I could manage. Clearly it wasn’t enough! Headaches & Nausea for about 36 hours afterwards.
That in itself wasn’t the depressive trigger, but it did have me feeling sick and uncomfortable enough to let some things at work take root and bring me unstuck for a few days. Why do some people insist on trying to mess with others trying to do their best at work? Why do others seem to think that theirs is the only way to work, and that others are just procrastinating or not work?
People have different working styles: that’s a fact. It doesn’t mean they’re any less effective, or efficient than anyone else, nor any more I suppose. However if it’s effective for them and gets results that should be what’s important provided it’s all in keeping with being respectful and helpful with regard to others in the workplace.
Anyway it’s been eating at me for three days now, and I’ve had enough. I’ve pulled out the initial exercises from my early psychological sessions, and rereading a couple of texts I found useful early on too. Fortunately I’ve had a GP appointment already in place for today, and I’ve tried to get a last appointment with my Psychologist for the last couple of years before she retires (lucky person)! Wouldn’t mind being in that position myself. So to begin moving forward I’ve got Barb coming to stay for a couple of days for some company and she’ll be visiting others too, so still have some time to myself to work on things. I’ll be back to work tomorrow, and starting afresh next week.
Good Glass…
2014 -
10.06
About six weeks ago I picked up a new lens, the Tamron Di 150mm – 600mm. I’ve been so impressed with it that I am in awe of it’s performance considering it’s price to the big name “equivalents”. I use the work “equivalent” with some “looseness” given that so far none of the Nikon or Canon lenses have the range and are at least $4000 more expensive.
I bought it mainly for wildlife photography, and had the idea of using it for some sports shooting too. So far it’s provided amazing performance. The critics reviewed it quite favourably although indicated a drop in performance at the last 50mm of the range. However, can’t say that I’ve noticed that much drop: considering my savings of a bit over $3500 from the closest Nikon currently available. My one comment is that it DOES need plenty of light, having a minimum aperture range of F5 – F6.3. I’ll be putting some shots up on Mirrormere very soon, just need to catch up on a few imports. I am even making an effort to try and get to some sports events! I went to shoot the Cycling at Buninyong last weekend, and shot about 750 shots, and culled it down to 500 or so after sorting through.
A friend of a friend was riding in the race, and here’s one of him (Nat) on his first lap.
Nat on Lap 1 – Sat 4th Oct 2104
Here’s another one of a pleased rider.
Made it!
I also sent an email around work asking for “pet” models, and was very surprised at the response. I have had probably about a dozen responses. So many that it’s going to take me several weeks to organise such shots. I even got an offer of a Bonsai collection to shoot.
Facelifts…
2014 -
09.22
Well the Final Coat is on, it seems to have come up alright. Remember always undercoat! Also the initial facilities are in place. I’ll slip a photo up tonight, running out of time, to work I must away.
OS Purge…
2014 -
09.12
It’s been a while, but I’m seriously preparing for the removal of the last vestiges of Windows from the Andulain.net domain. I’ve not used my PC for over 200 days now, the iMac 27″ has seen to that. I’m no longer buying games that don’t provide an OS X client as part of their offering. In fact over 1/3 of my games in STEAM have an OS X client. I’ve basically found a solid replacement for all the major applications I used under windows, and most of the smaller ones too.
My only windows now is a virtual running on virtual box. It’s legitimate of course as is all the software too. But it’s really only there for “others”. I ran into one excel incompatibility between the OS X version and the Windows version on a form for a job application, but outside of that, rarely need anything from windows. On the “odd” time that I feel I “must” use a flash based site, I will use it under the virtual windows now. I no longer pollute my OS X with a flash installation. To be honest most of the time if a site is using flash I go elsewhere now. Youtube also loses out a lot, as I rarely bother if the video wants flash. The VM does perfectly well in the rare instance that I make the effort to watch such a video.
It’s likely this domain will have moved over to OS X Server before the year’s end. Windows will stay only on the basis of “development” / “test” for occupational education and training purposes. Let’s face it, work provides no training, so the only way to stay current is to provide that myself.
I’d say after I purchase another external HDD to provide the Store for what used to be resourced from the Windows Domain, it will be migrated completely to OS X.
Not Toblerone Cheesecake but still a treat…
2014 -
02.23
In my pursuit to rid myself of the Perils of Microsoft outside of work hours, I’ve just about completely retired the PC. Over the last 12 months I’ve changed my approach to it and only turn it on when necessary. Let’s face it, I’ve not been using Windows for anything other than games at home for several years now. Yes I have a beefy PC, but really I’ve not been using it for much other than games since I started using the Intel Macs. This week I received my most recent addition: 27″ iMac with 256 Gig SSD, Nvidia GTX 780, 32 Gig RAM. Couple that with a 4TB USB 3 external (soon to be Thunderbolt hopefully) and I’ve pretty much given the PC it’s last call.
Basically it’s this year’s treat.
The last couple of years I’ve been busy making the most of the $AU for overseas shopping with regard to Photography Equipment. Now that the $AU is losing it’s ground, I will now be consolidating my Photography skills & techniques with the very good gear I’ve managed to accumulate thanks to the value for money overseas shopping has provided the last couple of years. Hopefully this year I will manage to come up with some solution for my Studio needs, and be getting a few shots into some of the competitions I’ve been watching over the last couple of years. I honestly believe I’m getting to a point where I can submit some work. No doubt I’ll be getting some arse kicking once I start submitting, but sooner or later something positive will come of my efforts. I’ve manage to turn one hobby into a career / income, hopefully I can do it again.